I got to relive Dirty Weekend tonight with my Dad. I hadn’t seen him since I ran although I had sent him some photos and he was made to read the review obviously. BUT to actually talk about it again, it just makes me want to do it again. But without the fear this time.

We started talking about my weaknesses, and he said something that resonated with me somewhat (don’t tell him). With anything in life three things happen, 1. You decide what you want to do. 2. You get experience at it. then Finally, 3. You keep doing it, until you’re better at it. Or the best you can be at it. I know that I can run, and sometimes I can run quite fast. What I can’t do well is attack obstacles. I get scared, I feel out of control, I’m worried I’ll fail. I have self doubt, and it can be crippling sometimes hence the mild panic attack at DW. BUT, now I have literally faced every single obstacle that anyone can ever throw at me. Monkey bars? Done. Climbing walls? Done. 20ft leap into water? Done. There is nothing that any obstacle course can throw at me now that I haven’t seen a variation of before.

Maybe that is the same with life. Maybe the same three principles apply to everything. 1. You decide what you want to do. 2. You get experience at it. and 3. You get better at it. You wanna be an astronaut? Great. Instead of saying ‘I can’t do that’ maybe we should all be saying HOW do I do that? Astronauts are real people, it’s a real job. Anyone can be an astronaut (although #2 wants to be a goldfish so that might be harder to explain). So its surely deciding what we want and then getting the experience and then building on it. You want to be an astronaut, or you want to win obstacle races or you want to run for Prime Minister, them figure out how to do it, and get some experience at it then knock it out of the park. No one else is going to do it for you after all.

I know that my weakness lies in my self doubt. I won’t approach a situation thinking I’m better than anyone else there or that I am more than capable of completing it. I live in a constant battle of wanting to be good but not feeling good enough. I’ve been thinking this week about what I’m going to do next year, after 30f0r30 is done and dusted. Without having a challenge or a goal to work towards I don’t function as well its just part of who I am. I’m toying with the idea of doing Man Vs Mountains (another Rat Race treat) or maybe even an Ultra but I can’t quite convince my brain that I am ‘good enough’ to do it. What if I vocalize that I want to do it and then fail? I’m coming around to the idea that by NOT vocalizing what I want, that its actually holding me back. You can’t train for something you’ve not decided you want after all.

So going forward, three simple principles. 1. Decide what you want. 2. Get some experience at it. then 3. Get better at it.

Seems easy right? Maybe it is.