So today was the big one! The day I turned 30. I have to admit I’m not depressed about it. I’m not in some sort of ‘oh my god what happened to my 20’s’ mood. I know what happened to my twenties. I spent a lot of them pregnant, some of them unhappy and a lot of them drunk (I’m looking at you Anna G) .
For a massive part of my twenties I worried because I ‘didn’t have my shit together’. I went through a marriage breakdown. I came out of the decade with three kids to two different men and no significant other in the picture. I went back to college to retrain and I basically built my entire life from scratch. It’s been a fairly busy 10 years! But I’ve come away from it all marginally more mature (although my mum won’t agree – she’s seen the video of me trying to get through the Drive Thru on a bike), and with a somewhat different perspective on life. Here’s what I know to be true so far;
1. Always always wear that bikini. Or dress.
You’re not as fat as you think you are, and actually you’re probably not even fat. Life is far too short to worry about what other people are thinking about you. You can’t control their opinions, or what they say about you. So wear that bikini. Wear that short dress. Because you’ll only regret it if you don’t. Be comfortable in your own body, it’s the only one you’ll ever have.
2. You’re the only person in control of your happiness.
No one else can make you happy if you don’t make yourself happy. And it’s also no one else’s fault when your unhappy. If there’s someone in your life who brings you down or makes you feel worthless then cut them lose. You don’t need them, believe me. It’s up to you to control who stays in your life and who doesn’t.
3. Consistency wins the day.
Sure we were all flakey when we were younger. But it just doesn’t cut it in the adult world. Be consistent. With when you workout, with what you eat, with who you sleep with and with what you commit to. Always being consistent helps us to eliminate the stuff we don’t actually want to do. So if you say you’re going to do something then do it. No one likes a flaker.
4. Eat all of the cake.
Maybe not every day but some days. Again, life is too short to be unhappy so if you want the whole cake or the whole pizza then just eat the damn thing. Your life won’t fall apart over 1000 calories believe me. That shit can be fixed.
5. That boy? The one who broke your heart? The one you’ll never get over? Yeah, you will.
Don’t mess around with boys. Wait until they’re men. Now this happens at different times depending on the man but trust me, that boy who doesn’t call you back? Or the one who just wants to stay in and bang? Yeah, he’s not for you. Ditch him. Sure it’ll hurt and you’ll wonder what you did wrong or why he didn’t want you. Or you might find yourself in a position where he’s way more into you than you are him. But in time you’ll find someone who’ll make you forget that those idiots ever existed. Maybe it’ll be at 21, maybe 30 or maybe even 41. But it’ll happen. Don’t settle.
6. Intuition is always right.
If it feels wrong then it probably is. Go with you’re gut. Always.
7. So is your Mum.
It’ll take you a while, but one day you’ll wake up and realise your mum was right about everything. She is the wisest person you will ever meet and she’ll be your best friend one day. You might not listen to her when you’re 18, but you sure as hell will when you’re 30.
8. Life can start whenever.
Don’t worry if you’ve not got your shit together at 20. Or 25. Our brains don’t stop growing until we’re 24 anyway so you’re allowed to not have a clue for a bit. I thought my life was over in 2011 when I got divorced, and then again in 2014 when ‘all that shit with what’s-his-name’ went down but actually, it wasn’t. My life started at 29 and I am having the time of my life. I love my girls, I love my friends, I love my job. Life is whatever you want it to be. Whenever you want it to be.
9. Follow your dreams. They know the way.
Even if they seem mental to everyone else, go for it. Everything that has ever happened to change the world started off as a ‘crazy idea’. Someone has to come up with the crazy stuff or we’d never learn. Don’t listen to people who tell you you won’t achieve your dreams. 10 years from now they’ll be in the same job doing the same stuff moaning about their lives. Ignore the haters.
10. Everything will be ok.
I promise. There will be bad days. You’ll be heartbroken. You’ll be depressed, your fake tan will run in the rain and you might even be given an aubergine on a first date. But those days only last 24 hours. Go to bed, sleep them off and wake up the next day and have a better day. Nothing is permanent and only you control your happiness remember.