I had a wobble today.
I stood on the start line of this run, and I cried. Christ maybe turning 30 has had more of an impact on me than I thought, the emotionless ice queen has been replaced by a feelingsy type. But more on that later.
I was intimidated today. It was a very small, rather fast field and for a brief moment I forgot that it didn’t matter if I was first, last, or anywhere in between. I almost didn’t run, and if it wasn’t for a strongly worded pep talk from my Mum and a mini conference call with Paul and Craig just before the starting gun I probably would’ve pulled out. But they reminded me that the bigger picture to this year is so much more than the race today, it is so much more than any single race. This #30for30 challenge is about all 30 races, it’s about the fundraising, it’s about the babies, and it’s about pushing all the limits I thought I had. No-one (except for me) cares if I finish last in any of my runs, they don’t care about my mile splits or my average pace or how fast I manage to run up Doon Hill, all people are interested in is the challenge in its entirety. And that is what got me through today.
And actually, I really really enjoyed it. The route was glorious, slightly too much pavement for my complaining knee, but the miles just fell away. The weather was beautiful, the scenery was amazing, and it was a thoroughly lovely way to spend a Saturday morning. At this point I’m not entirely sure what I was worried about at all. I spent the majority of my race in a little trio, following two other girls. Steve tortures us with arrogance each week and today I really felt the benefits, I waited, I paced, and then I took them both before the top of the hill. And then it became a game of not letting them catch me, which is when having a 33″ inside leg works in my favour, downhill is lots of fun for me!
And I came in quicker than I thought I would, especially given the fact that the first 5 miles were entirely uphill (740 ft of an ascent to be exact). Total time of 1:33:48 with a average min/mile of 9:18 will do me nicely. Granted it’s not as quick as the wining female time of 1:07:36 but like I said, it was quite a quick field today and it’s not all about winning. I had fun today, and I achieved what I set out to achieve and that’s the most important thing. My Mum, Grandma, Elaine and all the kids were at the finish which was exactly what I needed to put it all into perspective for me. I’m not looking to be a serious runner, I’m just looking to achieve something that will help other people, and that will hopefully encourage other people.
So event #25 is done. Next on the list is a ParkRun next weekend in Edinburgh. 5km wont feel quite as daunting hopefully and then it’ll be the home straight to #30.
And now, I’m off to help my nearly 7 year old preemie celebrate her birthday in style, having realised that where I may not be invincible, I am currently still unstoppable.