We’ve all heard the term ‘supermum’ right?
She’s this mysterious figure that is rarely seen, (although many masquerade as her on social media and the like). She’s perfect. Her children are perfect and her house is perfect, she balances work and home life like a boss, she never shouts, she never gets stressed, she never resorts to alcohol after a particularly bad day.
Few can achieve the accolade of supermum, just like few will achieve the title of elite athlete, or world champion, or celebrity.
So why do we spend so much time, heaping so much unnecessary pressure on ourselves to try? When did comparison with others become more important than our own goals?
I am as guilty of it as anyone else, in fact I’m probably worse. I try and do lots of things, to the best of my ability because I feel like I ‘need to’, which means I tend to let something slip along the way. Recently it’s been my house. It’s a tip- although I have a morning off tomorrow and after training I’m going to blitz it Supermum style.
I refuse to accept the fact that I cannot fit one more spinning plate into my routine and I will continue to cram lots in to my day until inevitably one of the plates falls.
And why? Even I don’t know. I put so much pressure on myself to be nailing all my training (currently nailing it about 50/60% of the time). I start each day with a ‘today you will nail your nutrition’ mantra. I rarely do. I love chocolate, I’m in a committed relationship with pizza and I’m just not ‘there’ right now mentally. I promise myself I won’t get angry or stressed with the kids or the daily child routine. And that never happens either. But aside from all of that, why do I do all of this? Mostly I think it’s because I assume it makes me more capable? But honestly, I’m not entirely sure.
And it’s daft really. I’m a mum to 3, I’m a full time student, with a job, and a training programme and clients, and a huge project to try and put together for next year. Of COURSE I cannot do everything else that’s required within the world, I am simply not capable.
But it’s not just me who feels it. I had a conversation with a good friend recently and she mirrored my concerns almost word for word. We’re worried we’re getting left behind training wise because we can’t run as much as the others. We’re worried we’re never going to achieve our goals because of well, life really. We spend all our time worrying.
And it’s nonsense. Our goals are not comparible to anyone else’s. She’s training to work in the sport injuries field, I want to manage sports events and write, two very different fields of expertise. She will excel at what she’s going to do, and hopefully so will I, but we shouldn’t compare our paths to one another because they’re simply not the same. Sure, I’ll probably never podium at the OCR World Championships, but then I’m not trying to. I want to successfully complete Man v Mountain, the Fort William Marathon and all the Total Warriors next year – that’s it. Anything else is a bonus. So it begs the question, why are we so hard on ourselves when we aren’t hitting the A class standard as defined by Supermum and all her super elite friends?
We shouldn’t be. End of, no further discussion required.
That is not to say we shouldn’t all have goals and dreams and that we shouldn’t chase them we everything we have. Because we should. Yes, going after our dreams comes with risk, but all things do. Fear only exists inside your own mind. You are 100% in control of all decisions you make in your life. You are not “trapped”, nor are you a product of your circumstance. If you want your life to be different then you need to step outside of your comfort zone and change it. Don’t let routines and ‘following the crowd’ paralyse your ability to take down your dreams. If you have big goals then prepare for them to challenge you mentally, but don’t shy away from them. Remember you are never alone, and with great risk can come great reward. Chase you’re dreams and define your own goals. Go after what YOU want, live the life YOU want. Not the one you think you should be living.
That’s what we should be doing. Not setting ourselves unnecessary pressures in order to align with an ‘idea’ of who we should be.
And it’s never too late. If you don’t like where you are when you go to bed tonight, get up and sort it tomorrow.