It is absolutely no secret that I have gained weight in the last year. At the start of 2016 I weighed roughly 11st, maybe slightly less. I had abs. Today I weigh 12.5st. The biggest I have been for a long long time. I don’t have abs. 

It would be very easy to say I’m ok with the weight gain, that I ‘needed’ to put weight on. Yes, I concede that at some point during 2015 I got very very little. I needed to gain some weight for sure. But that doesn’t necessarily mean I am happy with where I am now, far from it in fact. I am the heaviest and the most out of shape I have been for years, and I know exactly why – alcohol. 

There are a lot of reasons I have tried to blame for losing definition and gaining fat this year; 

1. I’ve only done cardio. I’ve got cardio bloat. I’m eating loads due to cardio training. I’ve lifted no weight.  (All plausible reasons) 

2. I’m eating more. Ok, true. I didn’t eat carbs in 2015. At all. Not even the ‘good’ ones. No wonder I was skinny.

 3. I’m drinking. In 2015 I drunk alcohol maybe 4 times? In 2016 there has been maybe 14 days I’ve not drunk alcohol. I’m not dependent on it, and in fact I don’t even like alcohol. I hate being drunk. I hate the shit sleep I get when I’ve been drinking, and a hangover is my worst nightmare. But that bit between being sober and being drunk? Well. I like being there. It’s nice there, stress doesn’t exist there, I’m happier, life is easier, it’s a slightly easier to handle 5 drinks in.

Number 3 is the reason for the weight gain without a shadow of a doubt. 

Except life isn’t easier to handle 5 drinks in. It’s not. I’ve gained 18lbs. And I’m miserable. I hate being out of shape and not being able to run as fast as I know I can. I’m not sleeping well and actually life is much more stressful when I’m ‘drinking’ as to when I’m not. Life isn’t easier because I’m annoyed at myself for drinking instead of just living. 

So, for 2017 I’m going to be sober. Completely. Yes, I had a drink today. We had a New Years party and the prosecco flowed and the beer was in abundance and it was relaxed and fun and whatever. But I’m done. 

I’m done having things to use as excuses to why I’m not performing well. This year is about big BIG changes to my training and racing regime and I’ve just not got any time to accommodate alcohol. I’m either a sober or a ‘whole bottle’ girl so for 2017 I’m going to be sober.

And of course I expect to lose all 18lbs within a week. 

I’ll keep you posted…