I find myself periodically getting caught up in the idea that if you aren’t living your dream life right now, something is wrong. I have moments of panic because I feel lost and adrift in this sea of dreams where it feels like everyone else is safe in their ship called ‘Living The Dream’ and here I am frantically trying to not slip off my 4×6 plank of wood and sink to the bottom of the ocean.
It’s almost as if we are living in a “Oh you’re working a job to cover your mortgage whilst studying for a degree whilst raising three children almost single handedly? What an idiot. Just go live your dream” world.
Now don’t get me wrong, I am a massive advocator for ‘not settling’. My desire to get to ninety and not realise I’ve lived a boring life is what drives me most days. That, and if I stayed in bed and did nothing then my house would be repossessed and I’d probably lose my children. But there is a very big difference between settling altogether and settling for a little while as you continue to work hard towards your goals and your ‘dream life’. For most people, jumping off the corporate band wagon and moving to Thailand just isn’t an option. But that doesn’t mean they’re settling.
Yes, there are people who jump ship and move to Thailand. That’s great. Maybe that’s their dream. Doesn’t mean it has to be your dream. And it doesn’t mean that your dream is any less valid or less superior to their. The people in Thailand may very well be doing what they love, but so are you. Or so can you. If you’re not, then maybe take some steps to change that (see point about settling altogether), but stop worrying about everyone else. What they are doing and how they are living their life is of no concern to you, just like how you life your life is of no concern to anyone else.
The society we have created for ourselves whereby we are surrounded by people who are working for themselves and making millions, and developing apps that change the world, has skewed us somewhat into thinking that we (me and you not in Thailand) are just average folks. Settling. With no ‘place’, with this feeling of being a bit lost. I mean come one, who wants to be an employee when they can be an employer right?
And that’s the issue. Where do you fit in if you’re not moving to Thailand but don’t want to live on the corporate hamster wheel for the next 40 years either? Where is your place?
Bottom line is, you don’t have to know your “place” in life right this minute. Nor do you have to be living the life of your dreams. You’re doing just fine. I’ve realised though that when the opportunities arise that will help you further down the path to the ‘dream’ then you should just say yes. And worry about figuring it all out later. It’s those moments that will help you define where you fit in.
In the meantime don’t be distracted by what everyone else is doing, there are too many other incredible ways to live your life, and that is all that really matters anyway.
Because, you’ll never be where YOU want to be when you’re worrying about everyone else and measuring your own success against the success of others. Actual fact.
Oh, and for God sake, stop beating yourself up so much – Lord knows I’m guilty of this – I may be an enthusiastic, go-getter, wants to change the lives of under actives kids kinda girl, but let’s be real. I doubt myself all the time. It’s part of being human. Just make sure you’re not dwelling on the doubt and lingering on the fear. Use the doubt and the fear to push yourself harder, whilst still paying your bills and feeding your children obviously.
We all find our place in the end. Regardless of whether it’s Thailand or Scotland. We’re all here for a reason. And it’s ok if you’ve not figured out your reason yet. You will.