I haven’t ‘life’ blogged in a while. Life has been a weird mixture of hectic and emotional of late, exhausting and draining but exhilarating and more thought provoking than it has been in recent years.
Turning 30 was supposed to put to bed all of the drama. The first 9 months of 2016 were geared towards turning 30, life had turned a corner whereby things were on the up. Inevitably though, when you put all your faith in one event making things better, it all becomes very anti-climatic. I went to bed age 29, woke up age 30 and my life was no different.
A year later, as 31 approaches, it almost feels like the gears just took a while to warm up. This year has been a somewhat harsh lesson that getting comfy isn’t almost the safest thing to do, complacency has no place here.
This time last year I was riding the wave of standing on my first ever OCR podium. Convinced that this one event would propel into being a more focused athlete (and I use that term loosely) I was convinced I would conquer all my goals this year. I haven’t. I got injured and I stopped training and I have accomplished mostly none of my goals for this year. But, setbacks make for even better comebacks and as they say, things happen when you least expect and after an unfortunate Chinese a few weeks back the switch in my pizza fuelled brain has been switched firmly to focused. It took a while, none of the reasons and excuses I had for falling off the wagon really matter either. Figuring out what you don’t want and what doesn’t work for you is just as important as figuring out what does. And so new goals are being set, plans are being formulated, based on what I actually want to achieve and accomplish not what I think I should be doing.
This time last year I had found ‘The One’. Being in love is something that is very alien to me. I am, as all my friends will attest to, very unemotional. I am ruthless and unfeeling and I don’t usually lower myself to feeling or caring very much about people I am romantically involved with. I am fine on my own. I am fine being single. I don’t need people. I don’t need a man. And then he waltzed in and shook my life up and I wasn’t even aware it was happening. I found the one and then I lost him again in spectacular style, to which I’m not entirely sure I’ll ever completely recover from. You don’t do you? Your heart breaks and it never quite goes back to the way it was before. Learning to move on with life without the person you assumed you’d spend it with is a hard thing to do. And as yet I am undecided as to whether feeling or not feeling is the best way to be. The emotional side of me is much more in control of my actions than it has ever been. I have been trying to force shut the emotional box, and I am failing miserably. I have asked myself a lot about what the ‘point’ of this failed relationship was. Maybe that was the point, to teach me to use my emotions better. Oh and that sometimes the one isn’t the one. Someone should really tell Hollywood that.
Turning 30 hasn’t been what I thought it would. But as 31 approaches heres what I know;
1. The worst case scenario rarely happens
A lot of us live with insecurities that allow us to believe we cannot do things. I’d like to write a book…but what if I have nothing to say? What if people don’t read it? Who really cares about what I have to say anyway? But actually, even if all of those things do happen, who cares? It doesn’t matter. Chances are I could sit and write a book in a couple days. My Mum would definitely read it, so thats not no-one and if people read it and don’t like it then so what. The wort things that could possible happen within any scenario rarely does. Remember that.
2. It’s not the end of the world.
It never ever is. Even when it feels like it. You will wake up tomorrow and things will be ok. Some things will hurt more than others, and thats ok. Learn from them, and move on.
3. We’re all pretty awesome.
Ever felt like the worst person in the world? You’re not. Stop being so hard on yourself. You’re human and you will make mistakes and then things will go back to being good again. You are not defined by your mistakes.
4. Always be honest.
It might be hard, it might seem like the wrong or hurtful thing to do. But tell the truth. Things will only get worse if you don’t. Even, if telling the truth turns your whole world on its head. Do it. Your future self will thank you for it.
5. Exercise solves everything.
Stressed? Tired? Emotional? Feeling bloated? Go work out. Stick your headphones in and go for a walk or a cycle or throw some weights around for an hour. Clear your brain and let the endorphins do their thing.
6. Some people aren’t good for you.
If someone is horrible, or hurts you on purpose then get rid of them. Remember, its not the end of the world. Some people won’t like who you are, they won’t like how you behave or the choices that you make and by allowing them to treat you badly you are giving their behaviours validation. Don’t do that. Get rid of them.
7. Some people are very good for you.
Keep them. The ones that make you the best version of yourself. The ones who don’t belittle or mock or call you names. The ones who will drink tequila with you or watch Bridget Jones movies back to back to help you reassess your life. The ones who are always there, who won’t tell what you want to hear, the ones who will tell you the truth.
8. We are responsible for our lives and for our actions.
We might not be able to control every little thing that happens to us but we can control how we react to it. The initial knee-jerk reaction is normally not the right one. Take a breath, count to 10, decide how you want to act and then do it.
9. Being normal is overrated.
The quirky things that you were teased about when you were in school? They are what make you unique. We’re not all the same and thats ok. Why should we fit in a box? The people who have changed the world, they didn’t fit the mould. They broke the mould, they forged their own path. Don’t be normal.
10. If you love someone, for gods sake, tell them.
Don’t go to bed on an argument. You both love each other, hug it out for crying out loud and go to bed together. Life is too short to fall out with the person you love. And if you love some, for gods sake, tell them. Today. Not tomorrow. Life is too short.
And remember, no matter what happens today, tomorrow is a new day.