We had grand plans to go to the beach today and have a great day, you know the type, all #blessed and #cherisheverymoment. That lasted about 3.5 minutes until we all got in the car and suddenly I was wishing I was anywhere except trapped in a silver VW Passat with three kids who just don’t seem to like each other very much.

I can’t think of any other way to describe it except for the fact that sometimes, being a parent is just a bit bloody shit. For so many reasons I feel very lucky, and very blessed and I love mostly all of my life. But then there’s things like this;

• The noise. Three kids in the back of a five person car is tight. They apparently don’t like it when people interrupt them but also seem incapable of waiting until the other has finished speaking before starting another story. Today there was an ear wig in the car which caused world war 3 as they tried to kill it, unsuccessfully I may add. One of them flicked it into the boot whilst the other flicked #1’s hair causing her to scream that her sisters were idiots and she hated her life. This was before we even got to the beach.

• The bickering. ALL. THE. SODDING. TIME. I spend my life either refereeing them or letting them get on with it before losing the plot and shouting at them. They just nip at each other. ALL THE TIME. Honestly, just shut the fuck up and get on with each other it’s NOT HARD!

• The mess. Yesterday I walked into the kitchen to find #2’s shoes dumped outside the shoe cupboard. Less than a meter from where they should be but she just can’t be arsed go open the door and throw them in. It was quite nice when I just had one of them last week because there was less mess! At least I feel like it’s worthwhile paying my cleaner each week, even if it just last half a day.

• The attitude. Seriously, kids these days don’t know they’re born. Oh I’m sorry you want to lie in bed until 2pm on your iPhone 11 and moan that there’s ‘just no food’ in the house even though we spend an average wage on food each month. I’m sorry we dated to think you might actually enjoy going places with us and doing fun stuff. Obviously not.

Despite all that though, and despite the fact I had to swallow down my tears in the car on the way home because if I was to open the can of worms rolling around in my head I much just explode, it wasn’t an entirely written off day.

I’m not sure we’ve ever had an entire day that’s needed written off. Sure, the kids fought a lot. The little one had the mother of all tantrums on the beach and even I struggled to chill her out. Sure, the house is a bit of a mess and there’s now sand everywhere and I need to do all the washing. Sure, there are a lot of things I’d change about life just now. A LOT.

But there’s a lot of amazing things. We’re happy together in our little bubble of life. We can go and fall out at the beach because we have the luxury and privilege of being able to do that. We can eat our takeout pizza from the new place in town tonight while watching a movie and know that despite the fact that one of my children called me a dick earlier and at one point I actually wished I’d never had kids, that not very far from the surface there’s the knowledge that there’s nowhere else in the world I’d rather be right now.

And despite all the things. We’re happy.